Two elephants are riding a seesaw and it breaks suddenly ...

Moral : Seesaw ho ya dil ho aakhir toot jata hai ....

Tune mera dil toda
aur kiya mera
apmaan....

Tune mera dil toda
aur kiya mera
apmaan....




Kya is bar duniya ko
bacha payega
Shaktiman....?

Bakwas PJ

Sir : Ek(one) apple na jaad(tree) par 10 Mangoes che,

emathi 5 Chiku me todya,

to e jaad par ketli Mosambi rehse??

Student: 10 Haathi.

Sir : Wah, te barabar kevi rite olakhyu?

Student : Kemke hu dabba ma methi nu shaak layo chu.

MORAL of the story:

Roj brush karo nahito gharma undar aavse.

ha ha ha...!!!

CONFUSING PJ

Tomorrow's yesterday is today...

and Yesterday's tomorrow is also today...

but Today's yesterday was yesterday's today...

so Tomorrow's today is today's tomorrow.

ENJOY a confusing PJ.

ha ha ha...!!!

Wat is red and goes tring tring?

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TOMATO
the tring tring was to confuse you.

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again
Wat is red and goes tring tring?

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BLACK PHONE
the red was to confuse you...

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again
Wat is red and goes tring tring?

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CAKE
both red and tring tring was to confuse you

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again
Wat is red and goes tring tring?

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FIRE BRIGADE
and you thought I was confusing you...

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thats how examiners take viva in college...

:)

Boys say:

Sari chokrini shodh ma javani viti gai.

Sari chokrini shodh ma javani viti gai.

Express ni rah jova ma local chuti gai...!!!

After gr8 career Amitabh Bachchan takes rest,

wah wah,

After gr8 career Amitabh Bachchan takes rest,

wah wah,

Taste mein best, mummy aur everest.

UMANG ko aai hasi...

UMANG ki master se hui ladai...

Master ne ki UMANG ki dhulai...

UMANG ka garam hua khoon...

gaya kabristan aur kabar pe master ki photo tang k likh diya

"COMING SOON"

ha ha ha....!!!

Buddhe k chehre par aaj bhi chamak hai...!!!

wah wah...

Buddhe k chehre par aaj bhi chamak hai...!!!

wah wah...

Kya aapko lagta hai uske toothpaste mein NAMAK hai...???

:)

BEER pine se pehle sab bolte hai cheers...!

wah wah

BEER pine se pehle sab bolte hai cheers...!

wah wah

Areeee O pushpa...! I hate tears... :)

Killing PJ :)

Raat ke dhai baje....

Raat ke dhai baje....

Aur

Aur

Aur

Aur

Subah ke bhi dhai baje...

2 Sardar ke beech fight ho rahi thi.

1 Sardar : gadhe ke bacche hum tera kapra phar k tumko nanga kr dega.

2 Sardar : Pappe serious larai main Romantic baat mat karo…

Pathan ki Maut

1 pathan ki mout bijli girne se hui! Par uski laash haste hue mili to Farishton ne pocha aisa kion? Pathan:Hum samjha koi hamara photo kheench raha hai.

Heigh of reading PJs

Mere kamre me udte hain badal...

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janaab jara gaur farmaiyega...

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Mere kamre me udte hain badal...

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Main likhti hu KUCHH BHI,

or padhte hain pagal...

Killer Shayari on public demand

Tumhari adaao pe main wari wari...

wah wah..

Tumhari adaao pe main wari wari...

wah wah..

Arre Yaar! Network me aa, teri awaaj nai aa rahi..

Bank Robberers Bank Me Sher Farmate Hue

Takdir me jo hai wohi milega...

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Takdir me jo hai wohi milega...

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Hands up!! Koi apni jagah se nahi hilega!!

A Touching Story

A man on his way home,

saw a cute puppy and...

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and TOUCHED it.......

OMG!! What a touching story man.... :D

Dard-e-dil Ultimate

Mohabbat ki raho me har pal dard milega...

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Mohabbat ki raho me har pal dard milega...

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Meri maano, ek medical store khol lo, bohot chalega....

Today's TRUE LOVE STORY

Once there was a guy and a gal in a good relationship since 5yrs and loved each other…

Guy was sincere n gal was cute…

Both were happy…

1day gal came to meet the guy and showed him her pink lenses…

He saw them and was surprised…

Days passed and 1day suddenly guy met with an accident…

Gal came to hospital n waited for 37hrs…

Then doctor came out and told her, “Your bf has alcohol in his heart veins…”

Gal was shocked and was not able to think of the reason…

Now I will tell you the reason…

Reason is:-

Pink lenses she brought.

Because who gaana toh suna hi hoga,

“Gulabi Aankhein Jo Teri Dekhi, Sharabi Ye Dil Ho Gaya”

:D :D

CID Reloaded

Golmaal me Samir puchta hai sanduk kaha hai,

wah wah

Golmaal me Samir puchta hai sanduk kaha hai,

wah wah

ACP Pradyuman ne kaha "Daya meri banduk kaha hai....!!!"

deadly one...

Pitaji bane dad
Maa Ban gayi Mom

zaraa gaur farmaaiye...

Pitaji bane dad
Maa Ban gayi Mom

www . yahoo . com

You have a wonderful charm,
because you eat sandwitch with jam.
wah wah wah wah ... ...

You have a wonderful charm,
because you eat sandwitch with jam.
wah wah wah wah ... ...




..................................

zandu bam zandu bam pidahari bam,
zandu bam zandu bam.


humhahahaha........

Pani pine se milti hain rahat..

Pani pine se milti hain rahat..


 CID ke baad dekhna na bhoolna AAHAT...!!!

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,

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Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama-Mama kehke bulaate hain.

pappu

Pappu to taxi driver:
siddhivinayak jaoge kya ..??
Taxi driver: haan Sahab
Pappu: theek hai wapas aate waqt mere liye prasad le aana

huhuhahahaha...

Deadly One

Naa jeene ki tamanna, Naa marne ka khauff...

Naa jeene ki tamanna, Naa marne ka khauff...

"The number you aare trying to reach is currently switched off!"

IPL-2010 Semi finals

Taru Smit Bani, Leherai javanu mane Gamshe,
Tara Ansu Thai, Luchhai javanu mane gamshe..


Tamne shu lage che, Semi Finals ma BHAJJI kevu ramshe ???

Elephant Series

Statutory warning: I am not responsible for the damage done to your mental health, your social relationships, your image among peers or your job by reading this mail. Those with blood pressure, please avoid. But never mind read only once...

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A:Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it fell asleep.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was a copy cat.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought this was all a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: What does an elephant and a blueberry have in common?
A: They're both blue, except for the elephant.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: Look, there's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant?
! A: First you bake a cake, and put 3 raisins on top, then you take it out in the jungle where the pink elephant will find it, and you wait. Eventually the elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the raisins and throws the cake away. Then you go home and bake another cake and put 2 raisins on top, take it out in the jungle where the elephant will find it. The elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the 2 raisins and throws the cake away. You go home and bake another cake and put only one raisin on it. Then you trek back into the jungle and put the cake where the pink elephant will find it. The elephant comes along eats the raisin, and throws that cake away. Now you go home and bake another cake, but (here's the sneaky part) you don't put any raisins on it. You take it out into the jungle where the elephant will find it and lie in wait. The pink elephant comes along and finds the cake, he gets SO mad that there aren't any raisins on it, he turns red, then you jump on him, strangle him until he turns blue......and you shoot him with a BLUE ELEPHANT GUN!!!

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Aw, come on, have you ever seen a yellow elephant !?!

Q: Why do elephants have red eyes?
A: So they can hide themselves better in cherry trees.

Q: Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: No? See how well the trick with the red eyes works?

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Q: Where does an 8 ton elephant sit?
A: Any damn place where he pleases!

Q: Why is an elephant covered in wrinkles?
A: Ever try to iron one?

Tiger Kills Goat.
Hippopotamus sees it.
Tiger asks Hippo not to tell this in court.
Hippo refuses.
Tiger : Why?
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Hippo : “HIPS DON’T LIE”

Agar Mahima Choudhari male (ladka) hoti to uska naam
kya hota...

>

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>

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> Think guys think..

>

>
>

> Think gals think..

>

>

Ans : Baaphibaap choudhari.. !!!!!!

Everyone can't laugh on this.... It needs level to understand...

Q) What do the white spaces in the above image signify?
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Square Roots
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Q: What do you call the most religious unit in electric science?
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A: Ohm
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Q: Why do people who have so much pressure drink so much?
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A: Well, people drink at a bar... And bar is the unit of pressure
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Q. A man went to the church and told the priest,"Father, I have sinned ninety times". Father said, "beta dont worry u will get caught 45 times." How did Father work this out. Was he a clarivoyant?
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A) Becoz sin 90=cot 45
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James Bond goes to the local Paanwala.

Panwari: 12.5 rupaiya hua sahib

bond gives him 10 bucks and tries to leave

Panwari: oye baaki paisa kaun dega??

Bond : Dhai another day!!!
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Q) Why Dont people laugh at a complex joke--> P + iJ





A) Because the Joke part of it is imaginary!!!!
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Q) Wat do u cal a cylinder of radius "z" units and height "a" units?
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A) Pizza!
Coz volume of cylinder= Pi * r * r * h
=>pi*z*z* a
=Pizza
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Q. What is the Population Control Program of the Chinese Government called?



A. Chini Kam
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Q. wat wud an angrez say to his Anpadh hindu naukar if he wants him to open the door!!!





A."There Was A Cold Day " (say it fast)
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A story of 3 Friends

Once upon a time, there were three friend in China.

They were Boo, Foo and Choo.

They decided to shift to India.

When they came to India, Indians faced a lot of difficulty in taking their names.

So they decided to change there name and get accepted as Indian citizens.

They changed their names as follows..

Boo became Bootiya..

Foo became Footiya..

and Choo.....

he went back to China...

Titani

Do you know how TITANIC sank??

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DUBUK

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DUBUK

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DUBUK

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DUBUK

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DUBUK

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Guluk guluk

guluk

PUCHIK!!

(Note: Please dont laugh.. its a sad story..)

Whats the oppsite of santa singh

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..........................

IODEX

coz santa singh is SARDAR aur iodex is ASARDAR

New Ending to 3 IDIOTS:

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call
the world famous CID.

ACP: Ohh MY GOD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya...campus ko acchi
tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !!
(Shaking his finger)
(After searchin the campus like a pair of buffoons...Abhijeet and Daya find
out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years back in the campus...)

Abhijeet: Sir, Mamla Gadbad hai...Yaha kisi joy naam ke student ne
aatma-hatya ki thi 4 saal pehle. lagta hai woh aatma hatya nahi...khoon
tha...aur shayad khooni yeh rancho hi hoga !!!

ACP: OHH MY GOD !!!

ACP: Yeh joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikalo...aur use forensic lab
me leke aao...dr. salunkhe zarur koi na koi baat ughalva denge iss murde
aadmi se !!
(after fredricks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of
joy...and the next scene is of the forensic lab)

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahot jaldi laash laaye tum...isse kuch bulvana mushkil
hoga...lekin tum tension mat lo...tum dr. salunkhe ke lab se khali haat nahi
jaoge..koi na koi raaz toh pata chal hi jayega
(after playin with some colour changing liquids)

Dr. Salunkhe : BOSS...tumne kaha isski maut suicide se hui hai...main kehta
hu..iska khoon hua hai !!

ACP: Salunkhe !!! Mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!...yeh kaise ho sakta hai??

Salunkhe: BOSS...sab kuch mumkin hai !! yeh dekho...(shows him his star-trek
type computer and does some really fast typing)

ACP: OHH MY GOD !! (still shaking his finger)....toh phir yeh baat hamein
kisi ne batayi kyu nahi ??...ek kaam karo...uss principal ko yahaan leke aao
bureau me...ab kya sach hai..wahi hamein batayega !!
(virus is brought to the bureau)

Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai...maine kuch nahi kiya

Abhijeet: sach sach batao...uss raat campus me kya hua tha???

Virus: sssir, main sssach bol raha hu...mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??
(daya gives him his special CHAMAAAT !!!)

Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???

Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad aa gaya...bata ta hu...sab bata ta hu !

Fredricks: (constipated look)..sir..daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu
hai...iska 'sssss' kehna band ho gaya

ACP: Fredricks..chup raho !!

Virus: uss raat sab logo ne party ki thi....sab log kisi na kisi k saath
campus me ghoom rahe the....main bhi tha...lekin mere saath koi flirt hi
nahi kar raha tha...isliye main bahot gusse me tha...phir Joy aaya

aur ye jaane bina ki main party mein hoon

Wahan bhi usne mujhe uska woh faaltu illogical project wala helicopter dikhaya...

maine uska helicopter gutter me fek
diya..toh woh rote rote apne room me chale gaya. aur next din humne dekha
toh uska murder ho gaya tha...lekin aap please yeh baat kisi se boliye
mat...college ki badnaami ho jayegi...

ACP: hum kisi ko nahi batayenge...tum hamare saath co-operate karo
(virus leaves)

ACP: yahaan kuch toh gadbad hai daya....aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus me
khoon ho gaya aur kisi ne CID ko bulaya hi nahin??

Abhijeet: sir shayad logo ko pata hai...ki pehle police ko bulana
chaiye...CID ko nahi !!

ACP: Aur yeh kaise hua ki khooni campus me aa gaya..aur campus se khoon kar
ke nikal gaya??

Vivek : Sir, shayad yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?

ACP: haan vivek...kuch bhi ho sakta hai...kuch bhi (shaking finger)..ek kaam
karo abhijeet...phir se campus me chalte hain...aur acchi tarah se check
karte hain...yahaan daal me kuch kaala hai !!

Abhijeet: sir daal me kala nahi...puri daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!
(they reach the campus in their ol' faithful qualis which changes colour
every episode...but the number plate is still the same...and daya slams the
breaks....SCCHRREEEECH !!)

ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum pura campus CHECK KARO....Daya tum iss campus ke
saare DARWAAZE TOD DO !!....Fredricks...tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se
entertain karo...aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hu....chalo sab
apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!
(after checking the campus)

Vivek: Sir, yahaan aiye....yeh dekho...yeh ek chatur naam ke ladke ki diary
mili hai sir...isme likha hai ki woh rancho aur rancho ek dusre ke dushman
the...aur woh rancho se badla lena chahta tha !!

ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)...OHH MY GOD !!! ab yeh Chatur kaun
hai... Good work vivek !!...iss evidence ko forensic lab le jao !

Abhijeet: Haain !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai...shayad se
iss chatur ne hi joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! aur rancho kahaan gaya...usse hi
pata hoga !!

ACP: Toh bulao iss Chatur ko Bureau mein...isse hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!
(chatur in interrogation)

ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??

Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !!

Abhijeet: Dekho Sach Sach Batao !! Hamein yeh diary mili hai tumhare room
se...isme saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhein rancho se jalan thi

Chatur : (over-acting)...mujhe nahi pata hai sir !! maine kuch nai kiya hai
(Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins)

Chatur: Haan haan...maine hi khoon kiya tha joy ka...kyonki usne mechanical
helicopter banaya tha project me...aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya
tha....boo hoo hoo !! Lekin phir woh kambakht Rancho aa gaya...usne mujhe
dekh liya tha...isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya

ACP: waah...kya plan banaya tha...lekin afsos tum CID ke saamne kamiyaab
nahi ho paaye...ab banate rehna plan...JAIL me...Tumhe toh FAASI hogi FAASI !!

Sutelo vaagh

sutela vaagh ne kyare na chanchedvo.,
wah wah!!!!


sutela vaagh ne kyare na chanchedvo.,
wah wah!!!!








sanedo sanedo, lal lal sanedo......,

ha ha ha ha.......

Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita











Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita

1st Post from me

Sports cum International cum CID PJ ( 3 in 1 )....

Manchester United mai khelta hai rooney!! Manchester United mai khelta hai rooney!! Acp Praduyuman Daya Se - Aakhir Chahta Kya Hai Ye KHOONEY!!!!

Dil me chhupe hain hazaro ghum,

Phir bhi sabko batate hain ke hum hain happy...

Dil me chhupe hain hazaro ghum,

Phir bhi sabko batate hain ke hum hain happy...

HUGGIES DIAPER!!

AB BABY NAPPY ME BHI HAPPY!!!

Bachna E Haseeno

Ranbeer Kapoor ne kaha "Bachna E Hasino",

Haseeno ne kaha "Bacho Bachao"...

Ranbeer Kapoor ne kaha "Bachna E Hasino",

Haseeno ne kaha "Bacho Bachao"...

"ALL OUT JALAO, MACHHAR BHAGAO"

Scientist

A scientist disconnected his doorbell..

Why??

Because...he wanted to win the No-bell prize!

humhumhahahahaha.........

What's the difference between Paneer Masala and Paneer Tikka Masala

......

................

Latter is Vaccinated

Aalsi Ramesh

Ramesh, ek berozgar aur aalsi aadmi aadmi tha.. College ke baad usey kahi bhi koi job nahi milta. Wo thak haarkar ek hotel mai Waiter ka kaam karna shuru kar deta hai...
Par aalsi hone ki vajah se wo kabhi koi order sahi nahi leta..
Agar customer order dene ki koshish karta, to wo kalti maar deta aur order note nahi karta...
Uske kalti maarne ki aadat ke kaaran Hotel ke Maalik ne usey naukri se nikaal diya aur kaha, " Ramesh, tum Achche waiter to na ban sake, par achche kisaan zaroor banoge"
Aakhir Hotel ke Maalik ne aisa kyu kaha??
??
??
Kyu kyu kyu???
!!
!!
!!
!!
Because......
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
!!
Ramesh ek Kalti-Waiter tha (Cultivator (ખેડૂત))

CID Special

Na bhookh hai na pyas hai.

Na bhookh hai na pyas hai.

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ACP:- Daya! Yahan to laash hai

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Paani ma uge Kamal(lotus) abe chood upar uge Mogro..

Wah wah..Wah wah..


Paani ma uge Kamal(lotus) abe chood upar uge Mogro..

Wah wah..Wah wah..

Savar ma uthine
loko kare Brush, ane pachi kare kogro :-D

Tune kaha... maine suna...
wah wah

Tune kaha... maine suna...
wah wah









Aur bus baat khatam ho gayi!!! :P

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin

"Na aana is desh meri laado"

"Na aana is desh meri laado"...

....

.......

.................

Jadi no husband jaado ne,

Bhens no husband Paado......

Ram Sita

Q) Ram Sita hai, to Ram kaun hai?

A) tailor (દરજી).

Dil ma lagi aag, Dil avu jali gayu...
Dil ma lagi aag, Dil avu jali gayu...
k
k
k
Fridge ma padya padya papaiyu sadi gayu

Baazzigar

Q) "Harke jitane valo ko kya kahete hai?"
thinking about bazzigar, wrong answer...

A) Harke jitane valo ko , harke jita aisa hi kahete hai.

ha ha ha ha.......... !!!!!

Miscellaneous

Raja ko mili badi muskil se Rani..
Wah wah Wah wah..



Raja ko mili badi muskil se Rani..
Wah wah Wah wah..


New MAGGI cupa mania, just add garam pani n carry on Jaani..!!

Miscellaneous

Tere pyar ne muje aisa pyasa banaya,
Wah wah.. wah wah..


Tere pyar ne muje aisa pyasa banaya,
Wah wah.. wah wah..


Tu do minute ruk main paani peeke aaya..!!

Aaj Tak PJ

Yun khamosh rehkar tadpaogi kab tak...
Yun khamosh rehkar tadpaogi kab tak...
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*Camera man Praful k saath Deepak Chaurasia Aaj Tak..!!

Roadies PJ

Roadies PJ :
Uski judai me mai kuch is tarah jiya tha..
Uski judai me mai kuch is tarah jiya tha..

Ranvijay says, Aapke against 4 votes hai, Expect kya tha ??